I've shamefully realized that Eli Porter is in fact old news which means I'm posting stuff that everyone has seen before much like those annoying emails that contain videos or jokes you heard when the internet was clawing its way out of Mother Technology's silicon womb. I hate that and can't understand why I never encountered Eli before? Anyway if you still can't get enough of Eli's rainman dribbling rhyme style then you can download a mixtape here. It had to happen sometime and indeed it did in May 2008.
Eli_Porter-The_Elicist-2008 01 Imma Have to Give It To Mah Boi (Intro) f. J-Dub 02 The Infamous Iron Mic Freestyle 03 Deed It 04 Best Man 05 Cat On The Grill 06 Funk Mix 07 Soul Mix 08 Dirty Mix 09 Jungle Mix 10 Over 9000 f. Nappa & Vegeta 11 Eli Responds To Controversy (Marv-O, J-Dub & A-14 Diss) 12 Eli Spits Fire (Freestyle) 13 Da Best Mayne (So Hood Remix) 14 See I’m The Best 15 I Keep It For Real f. Lil Wayne 16 Eli Is Possessed (The Elicist) 17 Still The Best (Outro)
Quality track with the type of chorus that crawls inside your ear and nibbles away at your mind sponge like in that episode of Night Gallery where that guy goes slowly mad due to a carnivorous earwig chewing his way from one side of his head to the other.....C'mon, you know the one.....
I'm usually indifferent to animal high jinx on any level but for some reason this one made me laugh. It's simply a beautiful comedy money shot in essence but it was the mash-up follow-ups (a la Star Wars Kid) that helped crack a smile on my Moonbase Alpha face.
The Lonely Island are three dudes Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg who made the dumb but pretty awesome 'Hot Rod' in 2007. They create excellent parodies of popular music styles and then fill them with immature lyrics and boner concepts. They are the ungodly children set to inherit Weird Al Yankovic's legacy. These three kids are stupid and juvenile in a way that only the Americans seem to pull off successfully. My favourite is 'Nintendo Cartoon Hour' but 'Jizz In My Pants' makes me giggle like a schoolboy who just grunted in assembly.
Work safety video with a dark depiction of the industrial workplace due to the Tom Savini-esque gore slapped on it's face like make-up on a cheap whore. Rhyming prose there, you don't see that every day. The best one is the guy blow torching that metal barrel - for the love of God why? What possible circumstances would arise where you would need to blowtorch a barrel? The only reason to blowtorch a barrel is if the barrel has a hole in it and consequently can no longer be used for its containment purposes. That then beggars the question, if it had a hole in it then all the liquid/substances would have poured out anyway so why fix it? Ergo a new barrel of the liquid/substance must be ordered again and as that same said liquid/substance ships in a containment device (barrel) no blow torching is required on the old barrel. It has been replaced by the new barrel. It's usefulness within the work environment has expired much like the worker who is trying to fix it and therefore it must be discarded. Even if you refuted these arguments and really had a hard-on for mending barrels then surely you wouldn't bring an instrument that produces flame anywhere near a barrel that could be flammable? However instead of using common logic, this gaping asshole blowtorches the barrel creating an immense explosion probably killing every worker in the entire factory. Be careful out there. Thanks Nick ;)
Occasionally a piece of art can have such a profound effect that it haunts your life, clings to your shadow and becomes an internal rhythmic metronome - colouring all your senses with its emotional resonance. In 1993 Mike Leigh produced such a work and even now over fifteen years later 'Naked' lingers in my thoughts and remains one of the most profound films chronicling the human condition I've ever had the privilege to see. Alongside Gary Oldman's 'Nil By Mouth' these films detail the sallow disintegration of British society but with very different agendas at their core. Whereas Oldman simply lifts a mirror with a measured hand and allows the viewer to saturate themselves in the despair, Leigh's film has an intellectual arc - probing and unflinchingly gazing into the abyss to look for meaning. Once seen, you're changed forever and both richer and poorer in spirit for it. It's brave and astounding cinema of the highest order and it's almost depressing writing this knowing that somehow I lack the capacity to truly sum up why these films are so important so I'll reluctantly let another do it for me. You see when I start to articulate myself internally about this my heart drips tears like a slashed blood bag, it's simply no good. This review of 'Naked' by thearbiter on IMDB feels as though he sneaked into my room at the stroke of midnight, sat on face and stole my very thoughts a bit like a cat in those old wives tales.
In my adult life, this is the one and only film that has ever moved me to tears with its ending. It was like watching Michelangel applying his final daub to the Sistene Chapel, the incomprehensible achievement of a perfect artistic vision, and the attainment of a transcendent brilliance.
For years, I had fantasized about becoming a writer / director, and actually put forth some appreciable effort to that end. This film, Mike Leigh's incomparable, unprecedented masterwork, cured me of that fantasy. He said, and did, in two hours, all that I could have hoped to achieve in an entire career, and it became gapingly obvious to me that I had no business in this medium.
There is no "story" here, except that of the distilled essence of the hopeless pre-Millenial Western man, robbed of the promised nuclear annihilation he had always consciously feared, but subconsciously hoped for, if only to put the world out of its misery. The naked and the lost, the wandering spectre of the sentient living dead, and the pitiful yet mercifully ignorant companions that cross his path.
I've shamefully realized that Eli Porter is in fact old news which means I'm posting stuff that everyone has seen before much like those annoying emails that contain videos or jokes you heard when the internet was clawing its way out of Mother Technology's silicon womb. I hate that and can't understand why I never encountered Eli before?